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We Love David Duffield Reader
Submissions Part 5
Apologies for the delay in updating this
part of the website but there has been so much cycling on Eurosport that I
haven't had a chance to actually do any work at all. The emails below are
the cream of the crop, if yours isn't published, sorry, there are various
reasons for that or there has been an oversight on my part. Oh yeah - if
for some strange reason you are going to send in a rant about Dave or
point things out about him that are neither funny or complimentary then in
the words of the great stay at home footballer Roy Keane "stick it up
your bollocks". Harsh, but fair ;-)
From:
David B
Subject:
Duffers rides again . . .
Yes, summer's on its way
and Duffers is back on form. As happens on many occasions he immediately
corrected himself but we won't let that spoil the fun, will we?
Commentating on the
Paris-Nice he was accompanied in the box by many-times winner of the race
Sean Kelly. David was talking about the geography of the area the race was
passing through. He turned to Sean for confirmation of the point he had
just made and said " now, then, Sean, you know the Paris - Nice like
the back of your head . . ."
You just couldn't write
this stuff, could you?
BFN David
Thing is I bet Sean agreed that he DID know
it like the back of his head!
From:
bwra
Subject:
Duffieldisms
came across your site when
looking up the source of 'rough end of a ragman's trumpet' - see also http://www.whythewhalescame.co.uk/
clearly a more established
term than I had thought. It's obviously a variant of 'rough end of the
pineapple' , with that added touch of comic humiliation (though come to
think of it, no rag-and-bone man of my youth ever had anything as posh as
a trumpet)
Thanks very much. It must have been a shock
for you to stumble on the Duffield appreciation pages completely out of
the blue. Are you a disciple yet?
From:
Kenneth B
Subject:
Ball of Chalk
After years spent listening
to David D's mile-a-minute commentaries, I thought I'd heard it all -
until the last day of the 2002 Setmana Catalana when a rider took a tumble
over a traffic island and was described as having 'went a ball of chalk'.
Is there no end to our
man's creative reserves of alternatives to standard English? Apparently
not. And a good thing, too. For me, David is the true, wild,
unpredictable, excitable, passionate soundtrack of cycling and we need
him. Just look at what happened to Formula 1 on ITV after the retirement
of Murray Walker's equally distinctive, high-revving, two-stroke howl. F1
on TV has looked like a mayoral procession for several seasons and now it
sounds like one, too.
David should be recognised
as a national treasure and listed for preservation; he should also set
about training an apprentice in his unique philosophy of life, cycling,
wine, good food, unruly spectators, cats and everything so that things
don't go deathly quiet when he takes the occasional holiday.
All the best
Ken B
Bicester Millennium CC
I agree completely Ken. You know its
probably his honest outlook on life that we switch on for. Cycling will be
a poorer place when he retires.
From:
Julian P
Subject:
Duffield
Your world is indeed most
agreeable, and re-reading the Duffieldisms had me guffawing out loud in
the office, still in a good mood after an excellent Tour of Flanders
yesterday, including some classic "soak up the atmosphere"
commentary.
One I noticed yesterday
that he's used before that doesn't seem to be on your list is "after
you Claude, no after you Cecil" which he uses when there is a small
group away in the final couple of KMs and they slow right down and start
looking at each other because no-one wants to commit themselves and risk
"blowing a gasket" (blimey, it's catching).
Apart from the fact that
he's very entertaining and so passionate about what he does, what sets him
apart is his sincerity, integrity and that he is so much his own man, not
as an ego trip or a gesture but because that's the way he is. These are
rare qualities, especially in someone involved in the media.
Keep up the good work
Julian
You summed it up perfectly there Julian,
certainly much more eloquently than I could ever do. Thanks.
From:
SM
Subject:
the wonderful world of duffers
Dear All,
'Het Volk'1999.The break is climbing the Molenberg.The pictures are
courtesy of Belgian T.V.Onto the screen flash the words'Kop van der
Wedstrijd.'Here we see the riders tackling the Kop van der
Wedstrijd',burbles our hero.Search in vain for this cobbled brute.'Kop van
der Wedstrijd means 'front of the race'! More to come as I sort out my
copius scribblings.
Regards.
Stu Morrison.
P.S.Has anyone ever thought
of testing Duffers for Exotic substances? He must be on something.
S M
Thanks SM, Im sure despite his mix up you
still enjoyed the race and the exotic comentary all the same! Is there a
UCI limit for wine, mussels and frites?
From:
Agreeable Keith H
Subject:
Duffieldisms
Marco,
A while back (Annual
Dinner, I think) you asked me to forward you some Duffieldisms. Well, it's
taken me several months, but here are a few that I don't think you've yet
posted on your site:
"Book of words":
a term used for any pamphlet, magazine or book.
The great man often likes
to extend his favourite phrase "fizzy brown liquid" (i.e. beer)
thus, "fizzy brown liquid with the white foam on top" - an
excellent example of time wasting - or 'broadcast filler' - if ever there
was one!!)
"Turn your Granny to
the wall": A term used on any steep, windy descent. The idea being
that, the inherent danger of the descent could, at any time, cause one's
grandmother to peg out.
Hope these are of use.
Keith
Time Wasting? How can you even conceive
such an idea!?!
From:
John C (Ireland)
Subject:
duffield
hey,
just joining in and saying
how much i love your duffield site. plenty read, and plenty more to read.
nice one. unforunately none to contribute...
over here in ireland ntl
took eurosport off the network back at the start of the year. and now we
have almost zero cycling coverage, along with no duffield. it doesn't bear
thinking about. there is a petition to get it back: http://www.petitiononline.com/bbe/petition.html
but it doesn't appear to be helping. it makes me so angry!!
anyway, keep up the site,
and appreciate eurosport while you have it!!
all the best,
john, dublin
Sorry to hear your predicament John. In all
honesty the best thing you can do it is to find an old secondhand analogue
dish and receiver (approx cost GBP 30) and set it up yourself. It would
seem that Eurosport is staying free to air for the foreseeable future. Off
topic somewhat were you in Dublin when the Tour came to Ireland? I went
over for the weekend and had a great time soaking up the Irish hospitality.
I particularly enjoyed watching the 2nd stage in a pub until Chris
Boardman went out of control on a flat straight bit of road and smashed
into the floor very badly whilst wearing the maillot jaune. I don't know
who your terrestrial commentators were but they were class. After Boardman
had been lying unconcious on the floor for quite a while there was a
deathly silence in the commentry box as the gravity of it set in. One of
the commentators then announced he had said a prayer for Chris Board-Man
which was a very touching thing at the time when we didn't even know if he
was alive or not (Chris, not the commentator). We need more of his and
David's kind.
From:
John (Australia)
Subject:
David in Australia
Hi,
If this is the same David
Duffield I know then he spent some time in Australia. Please give him my
regards
John Nicholson World Pro
Sprint Champion 1975 1976
President Blackburn Cycling Club (Melbourne Australia)
www.blackburncycling.org.au
Check that out - World Pro Sprint Champion!
David does tend to keep esteemed company. I'd hazard that it is indeed Mr
Duffield - tall, likes bikes, trikes, food and fine wine? That'll be him
then!
From:
Ben A
Subject:
Duffieldisms
Absolutely love your site!
I'm having to live without
David for a while since ITV Digital died a thousand deaths when the
Football League deal got a bit conky towards the back end with Carlton and
Granada saying "after you Cecil", "no, after you
Claude". Must see about getting Eurosport another way, otherwise I'll
be stuck with Phil and Paul for the Tour.
What many people don't seem
to realise is that there is absolutely no comparison between DD and
P&P. The two of them have spent years in cycling, as journos, race
organisers and pro riders, but neither seem to have developed any insight
into or passion for the sport. If football commentators were as dead pan
as them, no one would ever watch it!
I also agree with your
suspicions about their half hour broadcast being commentated after the
event, mentioning riders names 2 seconds before they attack, calling the
winner from a photo finish from their vantage point 30 yards from the line
etc etc.
We need more bumbling,
passionate ones like DD, long may he continue!
Ben A (Brighton Mitre CC)
Thanks Ben. It will be interesting to see
how Phil AND Paul compare whilst doing 7 hour live commentaries from a
windy gantry on top of an Alpine col with monitors that keep going on the
blink and Radio Tour giving out crackly info. Notice how it is always Phil
AND Paul, with Gary often traveling round discovering the local cuisine?
We know ONE man who manages to do all of their jobs and especially Gary's
Thanks everyone for the emails. Please keep
sending any info you might have on the great man and for those of you out
there who don't like David's style of commentary then in the words of the
man himself:
"If you can't stand the heat of the
kitchen then don't come into it!"
Has anyone got any pictures of
themselves with David? It would be great if we could display them on here,
perhaps with his autograph is someone has that as well.
Other Duffield Pages in The Agreeable World:
We Love David Duffield Intro
and index
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