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Tales Trails

Tales From the Trails

After making out how much better Leith Hill rides were than local ones in last weeks Tales, we had such a good ride this week that I'm not so sure any more! Not only was there seventeen of us out, but the weather was beautiful all day and there wasn't an ounce of mud anywhere which always makes a ride wonderful. It was so hot in fact, that sun-cream was sighted for the first time all year and people's bare arms emerged from their tops after months on end of being shielded from the elements. Why I chose to wear knee and shin pads must therefore put my sanity into question; my legs have never been as hot and sweaty!

With such a large group in attendance, I visualised that the pace would be incredibly pedestrian and waiting around for tail-enders would be the order of the day. Wait around we did, but not for tail-enders (as once again everybody kept up a good pace - fast enough to cover some distance but slow enough to make it enjoyable for everyone, if that makes sense); we were plagued once again with mechanicals from the outset to the end. There must be a market out there for solid tyres. To say that the trails in the South East are generally composed of hard-packed mud and rocks noticeably absent, the amount of punctures that we as a group regularly suffer from is incredible. I've been on group rides in the Lakes (where the trails consist of the biggest, spikiest rocks anywhere) where there's been less punctures. In addition to the dreaded 'p' words, we also had a suspected loose swing-arm, crank bolts come loose and a broken chain (another regular occurrence). Still, it did give the rest of us to laze about in the sun and chat whilst these various mishaps were dealt with.

In between all the above, we rode the wonderfully dry trails which seem a thousand miles away from those that were deep in mud and water a few months ago. It's amazing what a difference a bit (sorry, lot) of water makes to the average speed of a ride. We bombed up hills, flew down downhills and shot along flat sections with the sun beating down on our backs. The first big downhill of the day was a real scream. After stopping at the top to warn everyone of the road which is directly at the end of the downhill which now presented itself to us, we set off at great speed into it. The trail consisted solely of pebbles which varied in size from marbles to tennis balls, making the corners fun to say the least. It starts with a gentle, straight slope which enables the rider to reach maximum speed before it turns to the left, increases in steepness and leads into a number of sharp corners which, because of the surface, are slid round rather than ridden in the usual sense of the word. Once through the corners, the incline steepens again and the trail runs into a wide rut before levelling out slightly and depositing the now widely grinning rider out onto the road. I am happy to report that nobody had any serious mishaps and everyone was in good spirits, right up until the point where we reached Flint House Hill, an absolute monster of a climb which takes you from the foot of the North Downs to the very top by means of a rough trail through a field, a singletrack bridleway with step-ups and loose gravel and finally a doubletrack trail which looks deceivingly level but definitely isn't (or didn't feel so to me).

The aim of the day was to reach the now infamous Wall of Death and it wasn't long after scaling Flint House Hill that we reached this beacon of fun. The Wall of Death is so named because it is a steep three sided valley (well, hole in the ground) which not only has a trail leading straight down the middle of it (which is steep enough to make most people think twice) but also has a bowl effect round the side which can be ridden a la Wall of Death. First into the WoD was me. All started well enough as I skittered round the side of the incredibly off-camber wall of the hole, dirt and twigs breaking under my wheels. I got through the first section fine, turned round the tree root which marks the last section before ending and, realising I was carrying far too much speed, rode straight out of the bottom into a large log, to the cheers of all those watching! When I hauled myself back to the top and showed them the missing skin from my thigh, the cheers turned to laughter. Unperturbed, a few others rode the WoD (cleanly!!) whilst others tried out the more direct route down the centre. The line down the centre of the hole has the effect of accelerating bike and rider at great velocity into the slight corner at the bottom, regardless of whether brakes are used or not. As braking has no effect, a few of us chose instead to see how fast we could enter the section, jumping out at the top. It is possible to hit the lip, jump out and land fifteen to twenty feet down comfortably as the slope of the hill takes the sting out of the impact. Obviously, this is not to everyone's taste as it is a leap of faith (the landing cannot be seen until you have left the edge), but Jon, Joel (on a bike borrowed from work) and I did our best to keep the troops entertained, with Jon and Joel going again and again, getting further each time.

Once we'd all had our fill of adrenaline, we ventured off to a little used singletrack descent which drops the whole height of the North Downs via a series of switchbacks and drops. From comments received at the bottom, this was the favourite trail of the day for most present. With a hunger burning in our bellies, we rode on and made for our salvation, the Sainsbury's at Warlingham which as per normal was full of fake sports people whose idea of keeping fit is to wear a crappy old tracksuit, a Nike polo shirt and watching the footy on the TV whilst simultaneously eating family size bags of crisps and microchips. The reason that I mention these wonderful people is that every time we go to the Sainsbury's, they all stare at us like we're from a different planet, obviously because we are doing something healthy (although when all the crashes we've had recently are taken into consideration, maybe healthy isn't too good a word to use).

Suitably stuffed, we pressed on in the direction of home, survived Rachael's Downhill unscathed (which is always a relief) and continued on to an area littered with huge drop-offs and jumps, with the sole intention being to wind down. As soon as we arrived, we came across a set of doubles that looked like they'd been neglected for quite a while and were small enough to be rideable by most people. After a few of us had ridden them a few times, Joe P was talked into having a go (against his better judgement). Somehow, he managed to catch his front wheel on the back of the landing ramp and in a move that would have impressed Torville and Dean, he did a full somersault and landed unceremoniously on his back, biting through his lip in the process and making the poor lad look like he was wearing badly applied lipstick. Time to move on! We found a larger set of doubles and after many attempts, were managing to clear them smoothly. Next, a huge drop-jump from a banking, over a path and into another lower banking which like the WoD, requires a real leap of faith as the landing just isn't visible from the run-up. After my guarantees that it wasn't as bad as it looked, Jon, Joel and Paul (as well as myself) all gave it a go and were soon hooked on the thrill, meaning that once again, everyone else was subjected to watching a small amount of us hurling ourselves through the air over and over again.

By now, I (and I'm sure everyone else) was in great need of a beer so we descended into Croydon and headed for the Cricketers where we stood in the sunshine, drank beer and talked at great length about all things bike.

Special mention has to go to Joel who, on a borrowed bike designed for cross country and racing, was jumping higher and further than anyone else. If he had a freeride or downhill bike built for the job he would indeed be an awesome sight.

Anyway, if you missed the ride you really did miss out. I know I say this most weeks, but the levels of enjoyment experienced on the rides recently is very high and this, I'm sure, will continue to be the case.

See you all soon,

Jason.